Enjoying Life In A (Mostly) Joyless World
Enjoy Life By Reducing Conflict With Others
Philippians 2:1-5
Introduction: We
Are Better Together
In the weeks following the horrific events of 9/11 we
came together as Americans. Party affiliation didn’t matter. Gender didn’t
matter. The color of skin didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that
we were Americans. Those factors that far too often divide us were set aside
out of devotion to a higher loyalty as we rallied together in unity.
Unity is a key ingredient for success and fulfillment in life.
To have a successful business the employees must work
together.
To have a successful football team the players must work
together.
To have successful government the congress and the
president must work together to do what’s best for the country.
To have a successful family the members must work
together.
To have a successful church we must work together to
fulfill God’s agenda.
Success is never a one man show. Very little is
accomplished without cooperation. When there is unity there is tremendous power
and potential. The truth is: We are
better together than we can ever be alone. The problem is people don't
always get along. Far too quickly we return to our allegiances to lesser
factors that divide us.
How do you reduce conflict and increase cooperation?
As we move ahead in our study in Philippians, Paul outlines 5 practical steps to
promote unity in the one place that really matters—following and serving
Christ. First, however we need to develop a clear picture of what unity is and
isn’t. Let’s dig in.
The Stimulus For
Unity (v. 1)
Paul first explains why believers should be of one mind and spirit.
If you have any encouragement from
being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion… Philippians 2:1 NIV
An important word is missing in this translation.
Standing at the front of the sentence should be the word therefore
tying the four conditional clauses identified by the word if to what has gone before. Therefore looks
back to the principle previously
stated while if looks forward to the motives
stimulating us toward unity.
The Principle (1:27)
Whatever happens,
conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.
Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you
in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit,
contending as one man for the faith of the gospel… Philippians
1:27 NIV
We are to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the
gospel of Christ. For those of you who were here last week I hope that goal has
guided your attitudes, thoughts, words and actions this past week. Living
worthy requires unity. They were to stand firm in one spirit. They were to operate
as separate parts of a single unit for the faith of the gospel. The force of
the message is: Because God desires us
to be of one mind and spirit, therefore we will do so. In case our
commitment begins to wane, these factors should stimulate you to move ahead.
The Motives
1st Stimulus: The Encouragement From Being
United With Christ
If you are encouraged because of the relationship you
enjoy with Christ, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ
with one mind and spirit.
2nd Stimulus: The Comfort From His Love
If you find comfort in God’s love for you, conduct
yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ with one mind and spirit.
3rd Stimulus: The Fellowship With The Spirit
If the intimate relationship you have with God through
His Spirit is important to you, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the
gospel of Christ with one mind and spirit.
4th Stimulus: Tenderness And Compassion
If the tenderness and compassion of Christ are real,
conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ with one mind and
spirit.
Because salvation involves far more than our personal
forgiveness and deliverance from judgment; because salvation provides us with a
relationship with Jesus and places us into intimate relationships with other
believers; because what really matters is the Savior we represent for others to
see; we will conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ with
one mind and spirit.
The Signs of Unity
(2:2)
After explaining why unity is indispensible Paul defines what he means. Look at these signs
that help us identify true unity. Paul says this will make his joy complete.
… then make my joy complete by
being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians
2:2 NIV
1st Sign: Being Like-Minded
The literal translation is to think the same thing. This
is an important theme in Philippians. Of the 26 times this verb is used in the
New Testament, 10 of them are in this letter. Right thinking—thinking that is guided by the Word of God as moved by
the Spirit of God—is essential for spiritual unity. Like-mindedness finds
its common denominator in the revealed wisdom of God. Like-mindedness is the
expression of prizing what we believe God has to say over what we may think or
feel. Therefore, when we find ourselves in areas of disagreement, the way to
thinking the same thing is to search for what God has to say about the matter.
2nd Sign: Having The Same Love
This phrase means we love people equally. Based on raw
emotion it isn’t possible to love all people equally because people are not
equally loveable. This, however, is love exercised by our wills as opposed to
love expressed by emotions. It counts
all people as worthy of love. It resists the tendency to play favorites.
This is the love that binds us together.
3rd Sign: Being One In Spirit
The word used here literally means one-souled. Being one
in spirit limits the effects of selfishness, personal ambition, envy, jealousy
and other self-promoting traits. The
focus is a deep and passionate love for God and serving Him. While no two
Christians will ever be agreed on every point of doctrine and practice, we will
not allow inconsequential differences to divide us or keep us from serving God.
4th Sign: Being One In Purpose
This sign is similar to the first sign, sharing a common
root. It does, however, take like-mindedness to a deeper level. I see in this
word the core of what it means to be a team intent on winning the Super Bowl.
The objective is no longer how many passes can be caught or tackles made by any
individual player. The purpose is to defeat the other team and become world
champions. Action is motivated by a
purpose bigger than any one individual.
In examining these signs of what unity looks like, we
need to also consider two common misconceptions that need to be unmasked.
1st Misconception: Unity Is Not
Uniformity
Unity flows from the heart and celebrates differences
because they provide increased strength. Uniformity is the result of outside
pressure seeking to eliminate differences and make everyone the same.
2nd Misconception: Unity Is Not
The Absence of Disagreement
Unity allows for disagreement with the commitment to work
through the disagreements to fulfill the common purpose.
The Steps Toward
Unity (2:3-5)
Having explaining why unity should be highly valued and
explaining what that is, we are now ready to consider how we can enjoy that unity with one another. Are you
ready for another list? Well, ready or not, here are 5 practical steps that
promote unity.
1st Step: De-fuse Competition
Far too often we compete with people on our own team. We
have conflicting
desires. This is the first cause of conflict we need to address. Being
a sports fan it’s always entertaining to hear one player complain, “Why is he
throwing all those passes to that guy? Why doesn’t he throw more to me?” The
result of the game doesn’t really matter. The player wants to make sure his
stats merit another hold-up when it times to renegotiate the contract. Paul
writes,
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than
yourselves. Philippians
2:3 NIV
Paul’s statement is sweeping: do nothing out of selfish ambition.
The word meaning for selfish
ambition is intriguing. It was originally used of a day laborer and grew to
express the attitude of those workers who would do whatever it takes to get the
job to earn the wage. From there it was used to describe the self-seeking
pursuit of a political office by unfair means. It then came to be used of party
squabbles with people jockeying for positions of power and prestige. Finally,
it meant selfish ambition—the ambition which has no conception of service and
whose only aims are power and profit (Linguistic Key To The Greek New
Testament, p. 549).
And so it is that stories of selfish ambition dominate
the headlines of our news.
Selfishness is a
consuming and destructive sin. Selfishness breeds anger, resentment and
bitterness. Even if no one else is harmed the selfish person is in danger of
becoming a casualty on the spiritual battlefield. Discord and division are the
inevitable results of failing to deal with self promoting agendas. Selfish
ambition never leads to a good place. James provides a keen insight for us.
Do you know where your fights and
arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you.
You want things, but you do not have them. So you are ready to kill and are
jealous of other people, but you still cannot get what you want. So you argue
and fight. You do not get what you want, because you do not ask God. James 4:1-2 NCV
Understanding how powerful selfishness is, when we see
the fuse burning toward the dynamite set to explode, we need to de-fuse the
competition. Step back from the need to win so you can accomplish the higher
purpose of living worthy of the gospel.
2nd Step: Delete Conceit
Vain conceit is the first cousin of selfish ambition. This
is the only use of the word in the New Testament. Its literal meaning is empty glory. It depicts a person with a
highly exaggerated view of self. This is the person who thinks he is always
right and expects others to agree with him.
The second cause of conflict to be addressed is personal pride.
Proverbs tells us:
Pride only breeds quarrels, but
wisdom is found in those who take advice. Proverbs
13:10 NIV
When pride is provoked conflict is inevitable.
Combining the first two traits forms a unity killing duo.
Selfish ambition pursues personal goals
while its cousin vain conceit seeks personal acclaim. We need to de-fuse
competition and delete conceit.
3rd Step: Decrease Criticism
Look at verse 3 again.
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than
yourselves. Philippians
2:3 NIV
Humility is the counter balance for selfishness and
conceit. The
word for humility was used in a derisive manner in Greek literature.
Christianity provided a new meaning involving the recognition of personal
insufficiency but the powerful sufficiency of God. Recognizing this we are able to treat others as worthy of
respect by treating others better than we may be treated. It is the display of
Christ like character in living color.
This is a radical concept. Our American culture
emphasizes the need to take care of number one because everyone else will be
doing the same. To get to the top means you will have to step on some
people—just make sure you step on them before they step on you. If that means
being critical of someone else in order to gain an advantage, then go for it!
The third cause of conflict is failing to value other people by treating them with less
respect than they deserve. What’s the solution? Consider others as better
than yourself. Acknowledge their strengths. Celebrate their virtues. Praise
their successes.
I love the passage where John the Baptist celebrates his
cousin, Jesus the Messiah. Some of John’s disciples were involved in an
argument and they came to John with the report about how the people were so
strongly attracted to Jesus. As they saw everyone going to Jesus (John 3:26)
John’s testimony about Jesus shines as an example for us.
John answered,
"It's not possible for a person to succeed—I'm talking
about eternal success—without heaven's help. You yourselves
were there when I made it public that I was not the Messiah
but simply the one sent ahead of him to get things ready.
The one who gets the bride is, by definition, the bridegroom.
And the bridegroom's friend, his 'best man'—that's me—in
place at his side where he can hear every word, is genuinely
happy. How could he be jealous when he knows that the wedding
is finished and the marriage is off to a good start? That's
why my cup is running over. This is the assigned moment
for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the
sidelines. John 3:27-30 The Message
The more familiar conclusion is, “He
must become greater; I must become less.”
If you want to enjoy people by reducing conflict then
decrease the criticism that comes far too readily and give them the respect
they deserve.
4th Step: Demonstrate
Consideration
It’s amazing how powerful a dose of consideration is in reducing
conflict and building healthy relationships. Paul writes,
Each of you should look not only
to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians
2:4 NIV
Word selection is once again helpful. The word translated
here as look is scopos from which we derive our word scope. While it
means to look at it also carries the meaning of to consider or to regard as one’s aim. Picture
a scope on a rifle. You are to make it your aim to care about the interests of
others.
Notice that Paul doesn’t scold us. He doesn’t say you
should never have an interest in yourself. He challenges us to move beyond
ourselves and be equally focused on the interests of others. Scope it out. Pay
attention to the needs of other people.
One of the most fascinating exercises I have couples do
during premarital counseling is to explain their needs to their future spouse.
They explain the need with instructions on how that need can best be met. This
is an exercise designed to reduce the possibilities of conflict. If it works
before marriage, it will also work after you say, “I do,” to each other. What
are your spouse’s greatest needs right now? How can you satisfy those needs? Do
you want to satisfy those needs? Will you at least try to do so? These are the
kinds of questions that when answered positively cause relationships to thrive.
When they are left unaddressed or overlooked, you can be sure there is trouble
ahead.
When consideration is demonstrated the fourth cause of conflict—being insensitive
to the needs of others—is effectively blunted. So, open your eyes
and ears and get started.
5th Step: Develop Christlikeness
It always helps to have a target at which to aim. Here is
our target.
Your attitude should be the same
as that of Christ Jesus… Philippians 2:5 NIV
Jesus is the master of relationships. He came to earth to
bridge the sin gap separating humanity from God so we can have a personal
relationship with God by accepting Him.
While we will examine this great passage of Scripture in
more detail next week, look at these highlights of the attitude we are adopt as
our own.
Jesus didn’t defend His rights but willingly gave them up
(v. 6)
Jesus served the needs of others by becoming a servant
(v. 7)
Jesus was willing to sacrifice Himself for the good of
others (v. 8)
Let’s make sure we understand that it is impossible to
live unselfishly on our own. It is human nature to be selfish. We need the
attitude of Christ.
The fifth cause of conflict is living without Christ.
Unity is provided by the Holy Spirit.
Make every effort to keep the
unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians
4:3 NIV
The Spirit puts unity in our lives and families. In order
for you to get along with other people you must grow more and more like Jesus
Christ. It's not imitation but
habitation. Every day when I consciously choose to put somebody else's
rights before my own, to serve another, to build people up instead of tearing
them down, to sacrifice for the benefit of others I am becoming more like Jesus
Christ. And that is the secret of lasting joy.
As long as you are asking "What's going to make me
happy?" you're never going to be happy. You've got to get a purpose bigger
than yourself to live for. The problem
with a self-made man is that he usually worships his maker. And that's a very
small god.
Conclusion: The
Beauty of Living Like Jesus
The good news is that it is possible to live a happy,
satisfying life with other people. It is possible to live in harmony with those
you choose to live in harmony with. It is possible to have a meaningful
relationship with that person you married. And it is possible to enjoy the
people around you. How? The
solution is letting Jesus Christ live through you. When Jesus Christ is in me
and Jesus Christ is in you, Christ is not going to fight with Christ. Wherever
there is disunity there is sin. Somebody isn't living like Jesus. When we live
for Jesus by being like Jesus it is beautiful.
Are there specific steps you need to take to promote
unity with others? What is it you need to do? When will you start?
Let’s Pray.
