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Our
Core Values
Who We Are And Why We Do What We Do
Intimacy With God—Moving Beyond A Superficial Relationship
John 15:12-16
Introduction: What To Look For In A Friend
What do you look for in a friend? What is it that draws us to other people? What qualities
cause us to be attracted to people? As we start, let’s look
at Five Friendship
Factors.
I Like It When People Encourage Me
Some
of the best friends you have are encouragers. You like being
around people who encourage you. I’m very sure you don’t hang
around people who discourage you for very long.
I Like It When People Appreciate Me
There
needs to be some sense of recognition and appreciation. But,
it goes deeper than that. It’s really good when people appreciate
me for who I am—even when I’m really, really weird!
I Like It When People Forgive Me
There
are going to be times when we mess up. When I mess up I want
people who are willing to forgive me. Sometimes they will
need to forgive me for what I have done. At other times they
are going to need to forgive me for who I am. (See above about
being really, really weird!)
I Like It When People Listen To Me
It
is estimated that 90% of people who seek out counseling don’t
come looking for answers. What they really want is someone
who will listen to them—even if they have to pay for it. It’s
so much better when people listen to you because they want
to listen. Without saying a word they tell us that we matter.
I Like It When People Understand Me
It’s
incredible when you have a friend who understands what drives
you, what frustrates you, what inspires you, what frightens
you and what matters to you. It’s a rare friend who can look
past the outer package, see us for who we really are and love
us all the more.
We
love it when a friend fills these five friendship factors.
Of course, it also holds that one of the greatest gifts we
can give to someone else is by being that kind of friend for
them. We are going to see someone this morning who succeeds
with all five friendship factors. In fact He succeeds supremely
well. His name is Jesus. He makes it possible to have this
intimate, deep relationship with God that we have just outlined.
Jesus gives us four proofs or tests of friendship to help
us develop intimacy with God that goes beyond the superficial,
shallow relationship so many seem to have when they talk about
knowing God. If you’re ready to go deep with God, you can
be sure He’s more than ready. He’s been waiting for us.
Four Tests Of Friendship
1st Test: You Love What They
Love
Jesus
starts by pointing out to the disciples that friends love
and enjoy the same kinds of things. Here is how Jesus says
it.
If
you obey me, I will keep loving you, just as my Father keeps
loving me, because I have obeyed him. I have told you this
to make you as completely happy as I am. Now I tell you to
love each other, as I have loved you. John 15:10-12 CEV
Jesus
loved what His Father loved. We are to love what Jesus loves.
Friends who like doing the same things just go better together.
I see this factor so strongly in our daughter, Jessica.
While she was growing up sports was something she tolerated.
She would go to a baseball game as long as she could enjoy
the snacks. She bought in to going to one game at Oakland
on Memorial Day because it was fireworks night. When the game
went into extra innings we finally decided we needed to leave
because of school the next day. The protest was voiced that
she had come to this stupid game only because of the fireworks.
As we walked to the car, Dave Henderson, centerfielder for
the A’s hit a home run to win the game in the bottom of 12th
inning. The roar of the crowd was exceeded only by the jubilant
cry in the parking lot when we agreed that we would stay and
watch the fireworks. To this day Dave Henderson is her all-time
favorite baseball player.
Jessica is now a huge fan of The Ohio State University
sports teams. She knows the names of players. She asks for
specific hats and shirts as gifts. What made the big difference?
She married Joel who eats, breathes and sleeps Buckeye sports.
She loves Joel. Joel loves the Buckeyes. Therefore, Jessica
loves the Buckeyes.
The
first test of friendship is whether or not you love the same
things. If you’re going to have a relationship, you’re going
to love the same people and things that the other person loves.
2nd Test: What You’ll Do For
A Friend
Jesus
tells His disciples that the next test of true friendship
is what you’ll do for that friend. Look at what He says about
it.
Now
I tell you to love each other, as I have loved you. The greatest
way to show love for friends is to die for them. John 15:12-13 CEV
It
sounds a little drastic, doesn’t it? I chose this version
because it doesn’t leave any doubt about how far Jesus says
we should be willing to go for a friend.
The
disciples didn’t realize they were about to see Jesus do exactly
this for them. Jesus was going to live out this test of friendship
by dying for them. I’m not sure how many friends like this
the average person will have in a lifetime—a friend you can
count on no matter what! Consider yourself very fortunate
if you have even one friend like that—a friend for the extremes
of life.
Jackie
Robinson broke the color barrier in major league baseball.
In every city he played he was jeered and taunted and ridiculed
because of the color of his skin. In fact, one day he made
an error as he played 2nd base in front of his
home crowd Brooklyn Dodgers. The crowd began to boo. Remember
that Jackie Robinson’s number 42 has been permanently retired
by every major league baseball team to honor what he did.
But, he might not have made it without his double play partner,
shortstop Pee Wee Reese. As the crowd jeered, Pee Wee left
his SS position, went over to 2nd base and put
his arm around Robinson. Jackie Robinson said it was that
one gesture that saved his career.
Another
Major League Baseball black pioneer, Joe Black, paid this
tribute to Pee Wee Reese at his funeral,
“Pee
Wee helped make my boyhood dream come true to play in the
Majors, the World Series. When Pee Wee reached out to Jackie, all of us in the Negro League smiled and said it was the first time
that a White guy had accepted us. When I finally got up to
Brooklyn, I went to Pee Wee and said, 'Black people love you.
When you touched Jackie, you touched all of us.' With Pee
Wee, it was No. 1 on his uniform and No. 1 in our hearts.”
Wikipedia
A
true friend puts it all on the line for you. Jesus invites
His disciples to put it on the line for Him with this friendship
test. He doesn’t ask us to die physically, but He does ask
us to die spiritually to our desires and wills by obeying
Him. That’s not easy, but it’s easier than dying!
3rd Test: You Fulfill Their
Requests
If
someone is truly a friend, you love doing things for them.
And
you are my friends, if you obey me. John 15:14 CEV
You
want to please people who are friends. There is nothing better
than being able to fulfill their requests.
You
know you have developed an intimate relationship of true love
when fulfilling the requests of the other person please you,
too. Later in life John reflected on some of these same ideas.
He writes,
This
is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are
not burdensome.
I John 5:3 NIV
There
is a huge difference between obedience and willing obedience
exercised with joy. There is joy because there is no greater
privilege than being able to satisfy the needs of the other
person.
Do you know the difference between dating
and marriage? In
dating, we try to please the other person we love. In marriage,
we want to make sure the other person is pleasing us. It doesn’t
need to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way. As we grow
deeper in love for one another and develop greater intimacy
we should also find increasing joy in being able to meet the
needs of the one we love in a way that no one else in the
world can.
God
wants us to have that same depth of love for Him. He
wants us to love Him so much that we will obey Him because
we want to—not because we have to. When you sense that
desire developing within you, you will know you are on the
verge of something really good in your relationship with God
because nothing makes you happier than for the One you love
to be happy. God’s that way with you. Why wouldn’t you want
to be that way with Him?
4th Test: What You’ll Disclose
To A Friend
The
next test is based on how much we are willing to confide in
our friends. Check the example provided by Jesus.
Servants
don't know what their master is doing, and so I don't speak
to you as my servants. I speak to you as my friends, and I
have told you everything that my Father has told me.
John 15:15 CEV
When
we are friends we will confide in one another. We’ll talk
to each other openly, vulnerably and transparently. Whatever
Jesus had been told by His Father, He had shared with them.
Jesus
says, “I don’t talk to you like you are slaves. I don’t talk
to you like someone who works for me or with me. I talk to
you as friends. I talk to you as those I deeply love. I share
openly because that’s the kind of close intimacy that we share.”
One person I’m willing to die for is Judi. She is
my wife but she is also my friend. When the day is done we
almost always have a conversation that goes back and forth
with the highlights and the lowlights of the day. She tells
me about something that happened with a piano student. I tell
her something that Max did that day at the office. Then, it
moves into significant accomplishments, frustrations and so
on. Lately we have had some pretty deep stuff to discuss as
we live in the reality of what is called the sandwich generation
that deals with parenting both children who are dealing with
the challenges of early married life and parents who are dealing
with the grudging admission that life is winding down. With
so much that is so important to handle the only way we can
make it is by sharing what is happening and tackling each
day together. Some people say their spouse is their best friend.
I don’t because I think it goes much, much deeper and more
intimate than best friend. It’s the only relationship of that
depth we will ever have on this earth. It is the relationship
God uses to illustrate the intimate relationship Jesus has
with the Church. It is the closest thing we have to experiencing
heaven on earth.
This is a test you really need someone in your life to
pass. That usually
happens as you also pass the test for someone else. The writer
of Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better are one (Ecclesiastes
4:9). Or, as Three Dog Night lamented
in their 1969 song written by Harry Nilsson, “One is the loneliest
number that you’ll ever do.”
God
acknowledged that sad fact right from the very beginning in
the Garden of Eden. The man had been created. Adam had all
of creation as his backyard and a relationship with God like
no other person other than Jesus has ever enjoyed. Still,
when God assessed the situation He concluded,
“It
is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper
who is just right for him.”
Genesis 2:18 NLT
When
God had fashioned the woman, He brought her to Adam who said,
“At
last! This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my
flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken
from ‘man.’” Genesis 2:23 NLT
We
are designed by God to enjoy intimacy with other people and
with Him!
Five Myths Americans Believe About God
There
are several lies people believe about God. A better way to
put it is that there are myths about God we have bought. Believing
these myths keeps us from being friends with Him and enjoying
the intimacy He desires.
1st Myth: The Good Deeds Myth
This
myth assures us that if we just keep doing good things for
other people that we will receive our friendship badge from
God. It does please God when we do good things for others
but it doesn’t give us the friendship we need.
2nd Myth: The Good Life Myth
This
is the good deeds myth supersized. If I live a good life,
if I’m a good person, if I treat other people well, and if
I do unto others as I would have them do unto me, then that
will for sure give me the relationship with God that I need.
3rd Myth: The Religion Myth
This
myth says that if I do really religious things like making
sure I’m in church every week, then I’ll have discovered the
secret of knowing God.
4th Myth: The Feeling Myth
For
many people this is the only thing that matters. They experience
a special, moving moment where they just feel so close to
God. They think that means they have a relationship with Him.
I remember the day in Junior High when Tammy Chenoweth turned
around in class and told me, “You have the most incredible
green eyes.” It gave me a special feeling, but it didn’t give
me any relationship.
5th Myth: The Knowledge Myth
This
myth teaches us that all we need to know God is to know more
about God. There are many people who know that God loves them,
but they still don’t know God.
You Can Have An Intimate Relationship With
God
The
value we are talking about this morning is the joy of having
an intimate relationship with God which has moved beyond the
superficial. God wants to be your friend. Let’s talk about
that relationship. There are two ideas I want you to write
down.
1st Idea: God Loved You Before
You Ever Loved Him
The
friendship God wants to have with you always begins with Him.
God gave His love to us while we were still sinners. He’s
the one who comes to make the offer because He paid the price.
Any parent experiences God’s heart during the months
a baby is developing in the womb. That baby doesn’t know his
or her parents yet. But, mom and dad are already loving that
baby with each kick and turn and ultrasound picture. Parents
wait those months only to bring a completely helpless baby
home from the hospital. Now, they have a baby who keeps them
up at night, who spits up all over them and makes dirty diapers.
What do mom and dad do? They keep on loving that tiny person
more and more and more.
And then one day as they are making those funny faces
and strange sounds that babies bring out of us, that baby
looks up and smiles back at them. All of the messes and inconveniences
are counted as small change compared to the value of that
first smile. They look at their baby and dream great dreams
of what is ahead.
Here’s what I think God wants you to hear this morning. He says to you, “I love you. I have wonderful plans
for you. You may not be part of my family yet, but my love
for you grows deeper every day as I watch the stages of your
spiritual birth unfold. When the time is right, I am ready
to begin an incredible relationship with you.
2nd Idea: When You Invite God
Into Your Life, The Relationship Becomes Real
God
stands at the door of your heart. He wants to come into your
life. He longs to embrace you as His friend. He knocks and
He waits. He waits for you to open the door and invite Him
in. He’s not going to break the door down. He only comes in
when He is invited.
I
know many people who believe in God. They even believe that
Jesus is God’s Son who died so sin could be forgiven. They
believe all these things but they don’t yet have an intimate,
real relationship with God. It’s not personal yet.
Let’s illustrate what will make it personal. I have
here a gift card. It’s a gift card to a great place to eat.
I want to give it to someone this morning. Let me ask you:
do you believe this is a good place to eat? Do you believe
that I want to give it to someone? Do you believe that it
would make me very happy to know someone else enjoys this
place as much as I do?
All of this is true and many of you believe it. Who
has the gift card? I want to offer this gift card to you.
Do you believe everything I have told you about this card?
You do! Well, then it’s yours. Go and enjoy some great food.
You say you can’t because you don’t have the card. Here it
is. Will you come and receive it?
That’s
exactly the way it is with Jesus. You believe in God. You’ve
believed in God all your life. He simply is waiting for you
to receive Jesus by taking the most important step of your
life to receive His love, forgiveness and grace offered to
you in Jesus.
Conclusion: Accept God’s Offer Of Friendship
Please
bow your heads this morning, close your eyes and open your
heart to listen to God’s Spirit. You know what it means to
have a friend. Do you know what it means to have Jesus as
your friend? I hope you do because there is a place in our
lives that can only be filled and satisfied by God. He has
done everything a friend can do to let you know how much He
loves and wants to know you. He waits for you. He waits for
you to open your heart and invite Him in. If you want to do
that, pray this prayer to God:
Yes, Jesus, today I not only believe you
died for my sins, today I receive You into my life.
With
every head bowed and every eye still closed I wonder if any
of you want to raise your hand and say, “Pastor, I see that
God loves me. I admit He is the something missing in my life.
I’m raising my hand this morning to admit I need God and want
to develop a personal relationship with Him. I want to be
a friend of God.” Slip your hand up and then we will pray.
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